Gina Hendrix - My Thoughts On Love And Dating

Why Looking For Perfect Will Never Work!

 

As a matchmaker I hear lots of the same “I’m looking for XYZ” lists over and over and I’m here to tell you, your list usually is so narrow and means absolutely nothing in terms of who would be right for you because you’ve missed ONE key point!

You could have the “perfect” long list of this great person with things like:

“Hot body, narrow age bracket, trustworthy, successful, caring, makes $x, gets on with your friends and family, treats you to things you love etc...”

But it doesn’t change a thing about you being able to ATTRACT them and spot a great match:

 

10. The Number 1 reason why your “Perfect” list is screwing you over is because it’s SUPERFICIAL and usually has no meaning to what’s (truly) important for a long lasting relationship.

In 10 or 20 years time all the superficial stuff that got you there in the first place will have faded anyway, and all you’ll be left with what was underneath!

 

9. You’re completely stuck on this image of the perfect person, you’re not being OPEN enough!

You’re so hard-wired on a type (even physically) you’re not willing to consider they could be any different from what you’re imagining - you are seriously limiting yourself here!

 

8. It’s making you super judgemental and stuck-up whenever you meet someone!

All you see is “lack” of the perfect person and how they don’t exist, when I’m pretty sure you’re not perfect yourself! You’d miss a great match even if they did come along!

 

7. You’re holding onto a fantasy and fantasies very rarely ever come true!

Yes, even my friends mom won the lottery..BUT she’s the ONLY person I have ever known to. And think of how many people dream of it. So yes, dreams do come true…..but it’s VERY rare. And everyone knows when it comes to humans, perfect doesn’t exist. You may have a perfect home, perfect car, perfect boobs, or perfect wardrobe but being hung up on perfection in someone else will leave you cold at night. So--I hope you have the perfect blanket too!

 

6 . You don’t know what’s “perfect” for you

Your list of perfect isn’t in alignment to who YOU are, from knowing what you value in yourself, in life and what you’ve learnt to be true to you.

 

5.You place your self-worth in your idea of Perfect

Your expectations of perfect come from insecurity. You’re looking for perfect to prove your worth to yourself or to others which just makes you come across needy and unattractive.

 

4. You think all this criteria increases your chances of meeting a “greater” person

You’re not doing the work on yourself because you don’t realize who you attract, mirrors the relationship you have with yourself, and how everyone is on their own journey. You can’t expect a “finished” perfect person!

 

3.You’re blind to how someone absolutely ISN’T a great match!

You’re letting anyone in if they have the “look” and shows you attention. You’re so hung up on all the ways a person IS ‘perfect’ on the surface, you tolerate things you just otherwise wouldn’t!

 

2. It’s just….boring!

Fate and being swept of your feet doesn’t come from perfection and expectations, but from someone who surprises you! …Anyway can you imagine anything more boring than having sex with someone so ‘perfect’?!

 

1. Most importantly….You miss the number one ESSENTIAL factor - Who cares if their look isn’t “perfect” it’s HOW they APPRECIATE YOU for the real you!

For the long-term you need a partner that loves you, appreciates you and is crazy about you and devoted to the relationship. Too many times you are so enamoured with the other person and how they appeal to you--that you forget to step back and see just how they TREAT you, how do they REALLY make you feel?

You could have the so-called perfect everything but true happiness comes from creating a life that FEELS amazing on the inside, not a life that looks perfect on the outside. Be genuine in your expectations and think of the long-term. Look for those who you can admire and respect--believe me that will last MUCH longer than how they look.

 
Tuesday, 04 November 2014 10:25

How To Be a Great Lover

How to Be and Pick a Great Lover…

 

 

There is nothing worse than wasting your nakedness on a flop of a lover. Am I right??? So, how can you to tell the good lover from the bad before you hit the sheets?

Well, first of all, if you are really in love, love will supersede lack of skills in the bedroom. As most ladies know already, sex is first and foremost between your ears. So, if you are really really into someone, your brain will convince you that you are having amazing sex.

Now, on to the rest of you. I am not saying that there aren’t exceptions to these “indicators” listed here, but they are a good basic rule of thumb.

 

Read the full article here http://digitalromanceinc.com/mens/be-pick-great-lover/

 

 

 

As a single person, I know that most of you would love to be in a healthy, happy, committed relationship.  The good news is, this is possible! The bad news is, first you must dodge those people who are not in it for the same reasons as you. And the only way to avoid the trap of what I call the “Love Fraud” is to avoid falling into their trap. Here are the signs of a potential “Love Fraud” and their attempts to lure you in, with their “faux-mantic” tactics.

  1. Any guy or girl who says they want to marry you or have babies with you—when they don’t even know you—TURN AND RUN. Don’t be lured into thinking: “Wow, I must really be special to this person”. TRUTH: You are not special and this person has said the same thing probably to every single other person they have dated.  And some men know that those words are like magic fairy dust to a woman. BEWARE! 
  2. If this person has said these things to you, a great way to test them is to ask them questions to see just how much they have really paid attention to what you have told them about yourself. If they can’t recall anything or very very little, it’s because they weren’t paying attention because they don’t really care about you. It is all about them. Even wooing you, is all about them and their ego. It has nothing to do with their feelings for you.
  3. Don’t be fooled by someone who gives gifts and says all the right things, this is THE NUMBER ONE tactic they will use to get you on their hook. They use whatever tools they have avaible that they know will work best on you. And sometimes they use their money, sometimes it’s with their words, but rarely will they be that person to stay the course, do what they promised and keep doing what they first did, as time goes by. I would say it could take about 3 months before you know if this person is really "for real" and in it in a sincere way.
  4. What does their Facebook profile say about them? If you have your eyes wide open you can learn a lot about someone by their profile. Do they appear to be open and honest about themselves or does it appear that they have a party lifestyle or that parts of their life are hidden? If it is, they might say it’s because they want to be private—BUT I can tell you from experience—it's really because they are hiding something from someone.
  5. Don’t be afraid to ask the questions. I can’t tell you how many men I have met who either appear to be single, act single or try to give the impression that they are single—and the ONLY WAY to know for sure, is to ask them straight out: Are you single? I find they will usually come clean if you ask a straight out question. And even if they say “Yes, I’m married but we don’t live together”, still TURN AND RUN. No excuses. Trust me on this. Married is MARRIED. Ask more questions. Do you want to get married? Do you want kids?  Where do you see yourself in 5 years? (that's a crucial question) Now, I’m not saying you need to act like a detective and shoot all of these questions out right away. But you should ask these questions before you sleep with this person—to save yourself heart break later.
  6. If you meet someone who is really into you—they will be willing to answer your questions and they will want to spend time with you.  If they text you more than they see you in person—this is a bad sign. Ignore their words, go on their actions.  
  7. Don’t fall into the trap where they make you feel like it’s you. That is a classic manipulative tactic by someone who is VERY good at being a “Love Fraud”. They will “love you” and “leave you” as fast as they said all of the right things and got you into bed.
  8. Don’t think you are the only one they are wooing, you aren’t. 

Why do they do it? This is a very common question. They do it for one reason, themselves. And it’s not about you personally, even though they do want something from you---they don’t want to give you their heart or a real relationship, they want you to give them any number of things: a career, money, or ego stroke. It’s usually one of those 3 things.  And the ego stoke is more common than you might think. So many people have deep insecurities that they need constant validation from other men and women because inside they do not really feel worthy or good about themselves. This person is a selfish, narcissist who will never give anyone their heart. So don’t take it personally it, it’s really not you—it’s them. Just start choosing people who can love you back, who can really be present for you, who appreciate you and who really want to get to know and love YOU for the right reasons.